LIVE BROKEN

I witnessed an unsettling event this morning.  Growing up we had a phrase we used when someone did something crazy, we called it "going postal" (because of a tragedy that happened when an incensed postal worker opened fire killing people). Also, the recent shooting in Tucson, AZ was fresh in my mind. 

I was at the post office this morning waiting in line and a very disgruntled person, who appeared to have some connection with the employee side of the post office walked out past me, making threatening statements about getting everybody fired. He looked me right in the eyes. He was VERY upset. This was incredibly unsettling to me. I made a point to watch him walk out of the building (I just wanted to be sure he wasn't going to go get something out of a vehicle) get on his bike and leave. In my attempt to make the world OK, I joked to the person ahead of me that I'd probably be grumpy too if I had to ride bike in this cold weather. We both chuckled, but inside I was nervous and a bit scared! It was very clear this person was bitter. I don't know his story, but bitterness was oozing from him. And I believe I was right to feel afraid. Bitterness can turn to hate and we all know where that leads - it ends up in the news.

Is this what happens when you get thrown a curve ball? When a tragedy strikes or a great injustice occurs? Is there an alternative to living in bitterness?

Over and over I've been hearing about the "brokenness" in our community. That somehow it's a bad thing that sins are being exposed and brought into the light. Frankly, I have to say that I think it's a blessing.  

I have been hearing the same basic message over and over lately and I decided to share it with you because perhaps you will relate to it. The message I keep hearing is this: LIVE BROKEN. 

I know, a bit disconcerting isn't it? We rugged individualists in America are STRONG, pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of people right? That is what we value.

Doesn't BROKEN mean weak? humbled? outcast? vulnerable? Well I guess that depends on who you're asking. Could it be that God would look at BROKEN and see opportunity, beauty, courage, mold-ability, humility, and yes, even strength?

In Jim Daly's book STRONGER, he points out what being broken is NOT:
*If we are broken before the Lord, it doesn't mean that we are in a constant state of unhappiness or despair.
*If we choose to be broken, it does not mean we are committing ourselves to a life of trial and tragedy.
*Brokenness is not about lowering our self-esteem. As faithful followers of Christ, we never give up our place as cherished children of heaven.

What I think LIVE BROKEN means is a life of surrender. To chose to be completely and utterly dependent on Christ. The times I've come closest to this was during great trial, when confusion reigned and I have had nowhere else to turn. But I think there is a way to live in a state of dependence, though I admit I'm not good at it.

I think it requires deep honesty, genuineness, humility and daily surrender of my will. I think it requires a big view of God; that He is able to handle all my situations. I think it requires great trust and childlike faith; the kind of faith that when God says "you can fall backward now" you completely believe and KNOW He'll not let you hit the floor.

So, let's go back for a moment to my opening scenario. What if the disgruntled postal worker surrenders his bitterness? I'm not saying not to address an injustice through proper channels when that is needed. But what if, upon doing what he knows to do, he gives the entire situation over to God?

Make it personal. The next time I encounter a tragedy, an injustice etc. What will my response be? Will I take matters into my own hands, stake my claim, stand on "my rights", demand justice, rail at God?..... Honestly? ....I don't know. But I hope that this message I keep hearing over and over: LIVE BROKEN is somehow seeping into me, penetrating my soul.

If God cares about me enough to expose my hidden sins, to bring lies to light, to bring me through trial, to allow me to be broken in order that His strength can live fully in me, I think that is a beautiful thing and a great blessing. Though it may not feel like it at the time.

One final thought: when my oldest son was 2 he broke the femur bone in his right leg. The Dr. told us that the place where it broke would heal and be even stronger than the bone around it. I think that's similar to how brokenness works in us. When we are broken, God's strength compensates in ways that make us so much stronger - not because of us, but because we've surrendered to Him.

until next time
...and the greatest of these is love