Grandpa's Prayer

I was recently challenged to pray the Lord’s Prayer on a regular basis as part of a sacred rhythm to life. It immediately brought a precious memory to my mind.

As an 8 year old I sat at the large dining table with my family and grandparents. It was Sunday dinner and it was always SO good! Everyone had settled into their seats and I got to sit next to grandma – a special treat. But before we could dig into the mashed potatoes, gravy and roast beef, grandpa would pray. It was always the same. We would bow our heads and grandpa would begin the Lord’s Prayer. I can still hear him slowly reciting the words:

“Our Father…..who art in heaven….hallowed be Thy Name ….(pause)……

Thy Kingdom come….Thy will be done…..on earth as it is in heaven…..(pause)

Give us this day….our daily…bread….(long pause)…

And forgive us our debts…..as we….forgive our debtors….….(longer pause, and I peek to see if he’s OK)

And lead us not into temptation….(I’m peeking again)….

And deliver us from evil…(now I’m looking at the yummy food and wondering if he’s ever going to finish)

For Thine is the Kingdom….and the power….and the glory forever….amen.” (whew! He made it, we can eat!)

What a wonderful memory! Yes, the food and fellowship were good, but it’s the prayer that made the biggest impression on me. My grandpa always seemed very old and wise to me.  I was too young to understand the legacy he was leaving; too immature to understand the significance of this prayer.

Jesus gave this prayer to his followers as a model for how they should pray (Mat 6 and Luke 11). Not that it’s the only words to pray, but obviously, if Jesus himself provided this prayer as a model it’s a pretty important prayer. Especially when prayed sincerely, like grandpa did.

And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

til next time...

the greatest of these is love

Keeping It Real

My nose will never be the same. I will have a nose that looks like it came off one of the Seven Dwarfs. "Oh, my! What happened to your nose?!"
These and other unpleasant thoughts did NOT go through my mind last week. (believe it or not)
I think I had more fear going in than once I actually got "under the knife".
OK, if I've lost you, I'll back up and fill you in.
In March I visited my dermatologist. She noticed a few spots on my skin that needed to be tested. One of those spots came from my nose - left side on nostril. It came back as a basal cell carcinoma.
That meant a trip to DesMoines for a MOHS procedure where they test each layer they take until they get all the cancer.
I have been through this before in 2008 front neck just below the collar bone. It went well - one cut - one testing cycle - results came back with clear margins and I was stitched up. Simple.
This time didn't go that way.
By the time all the cancer was excavated I had a third nostril on the left side.
Three times they came back for more tissue, 4 times total. My husband was watching me closely. He was waiting for me to crack.
But I didn't.
I did have to hold back some tears after the initial results came back and I knew we weren't going to get the "one and done" like last time, but other than that, I held it together (well maybe it wasn't so much me as it was Jesus in me).
I had to see a plastic surgeon for repair.
We were impressed with the before and after pictures scrolling on digital frames in the waiting and exam rooms.
I hadn't seen the hole yet and Bruce snapped a picture with his phone and showed it to me. Mistake.
Now I couldn't hold back the tears.
The surgeon saw me trying to pull myself together and maybe this helped him be more compassionate, who knows.
After getting the low down, we were scheduled for surgery the following morning.
I came home with stitches in the shape of an N - but the boys thought it looked more like a 4 and dubbed me "NUMBER 4". So now I am number 4. Clever boys. (a reference to a recent movie)

You may be wondering what all this has to do with my walk with God. Everything.
My whole life is part of my walk with God.
The big stuff, the little stuff, the annoying stuff, the joys, the trials, all of it. He has something in it for me to learn.
I'm left wondering about things like the temporariness of my physical body. I'm reassured by knowing the real me is my eternal soul and that my body is just it's earthly house. I'm reminded that I'll get a new body someday.
I am reminded about thankfulness for this body I've been given. For the gift it is.
I am thankful for gifted physicians who have great skill, but also have compassion.

I know there are temptations that Satan would love for me to take up.
To become fearful. To become fatalistic in thinking about my skin and the future.
Yes, I spent way too many hours in the sun as a young person.
But I refuse to go there.
Jesus is my restorer, my healer. I pray for His touch to my skin. He healed lepers, He can heal me.
I will not live in fear.
Even if there is a recurrence in the future He will be with me and I'll learn something from it.

until next time -
and the greatest of these is love!

Trauma and Amazing Love

I’ve been taking an online class on trauma and response.  It is taught from a Christian perspective which I very much appreciate.

As a follow-up to a recent discussion question, we were asked to “discuss any scriptures that show how God created people to live within a relationship context? How does this tie into the strategic support and accountability of trauma recovery?”

This was my answer:

My first thoughts were triggered by your use of the word 'created'. When God created Eve from Adam's rib and brought her to him, He created a relationship.

We are created in the image of God and He is relational in His very being. Father, Son and Holy Spirit known as the trinity are completely one and complete in relationship.

Jesus said to those around him "who are my mother and brothers? My mother and brothers (my family) are those who do the will of my Father.” He is stressing the importance of relationship and expanding our ideas of where we can find support. Then as Jesus died on the cross he connects his mother to his dear friend John, again stressing the important role of relationship. 

Jesus knew his death was a traumatic experience for those who loved him. He knew both of those precious people needed extra support, so he intentionally added an accountability dimension (mother to son and son to mother) to the relationship so there would be extra support. I so love this gesture! Even in his excruciatingly painful moments, Jesus was caring for people. What AMAZING Love!

This was a brand new thought for me! It came to me as I wrote it (thank you Holy Spirit).  As I sat there and thought about what I had just written I was overwhelmed and tears filled my eyes. Oh, to know this God-man, Jesus more!

Jesus has so much to teach us! No matter what the subject is, He has taught us “a more excellent way.” May Holy Week overwhelm you with thoughts of His amazing love. 

Until next time…

and the greatest of these is love.

Obedience is Not a Dirty Word

We resist obedience almost from the womb. Little children disobey to assert their will and see what will happen. Teenagers disobey to assert their growing independence. Even adults are prone to dissent until they can obey with their pride intact, "I'm only doing it because I want to."

Two weeks ago one of my Lent scripture readings was the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son Isaac. (Genesis 22) The ultimate test of obedience: let something go we treasure and love with a passion. As I reflected on the passage I wrote some observations in my journal about how Abraham handled this situation.

1. Upon hearing this instruction from God Abraham immediately acts. He got up early the next morning and set out. He didn't spend a lot of time pondering the instructions, instead he obeyed immediately.
My take away: how often to I hesitate? How does my hesitation move me toward disobedience?

2. Abraham didn't tell anyone. He heard from the Lord and it was between him and the Lord. Abraham loved Isaac and would not have wanted to do this. Abraham didn't talk to others as they would likely have tried to talk him out of it - especially if he had told his wife Sarah.
My take away: When I know the Lord has spoken to me on something, do I allow others to talk me out of it?

3. Abraham has past experiences with the Lord that have shown him the character of the Lord. Abraham knows knows the Lord will not break the covenant He has made with Abraham, even though Abraham has failed in the past. Abraham trusts the Lord.
My take away: Do I look at the ways the Lord has taken care of me in the past despite my failures? Do I really trust Him?

4. When Isaac turns to (vs7) Abraham and asks where the sheep for the burnt offering was, Abraham likely looks his son in the eye and states, "God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering my son." And they both walked on together. Isaac accepts his father's answer. Abraham was resolute and his posture in faith and obedience influences his son to also take an accepting posture.
My take away: when I am resolute in obedience others will be influenced.

5.  When Isaac turns to (vs7) Abraham and asks where the sheep for the burnt offering was, Abraham likely looks his son in the eye and states, "God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering my son." And they both walked on together. Why does Abraham answer the question this way? It is interesting to me that Abraham doesn't use this opening to blurt out any inner turmoil. He doesn't say "God has asked me to do the unthinkable!" or "God is testing me!" or even "God asked me to sacrifice you Isaac!" In spite of any doubts or questions Abraham may have had, he didn't give them expression. He stays resolute in his obedience and doesn't melt in emotion.
My take away: How often, when I'm asked to do something I deem difficult do I stay resolute? Unfortunately not often. Too often I melt in emotions and the seeming unfairness of it all.

6. The Lord intervened. "Abraham! Don't lay a hand on the boy!" God took care of Abraham and Isaac because Abraham proved by his actions that he loved the Lord his God so much he wasn't willing to withhold anything from Him. Because Abraham had been obedient, "through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed." (vs 18) God hugely blesses Abraham's obedience way beyond a "normal" blessing and He rewards him in a BIG way. Abraham is recorded as a hero of faith in the book of Hebrews.
My take away: The Lord's heart is FOR me. He has given EVERYTHING - for He didn't spare HIS own son - Jesus. When He asks me to obey Him He knows the ending, He knows the blessing in store.

until next time...

and the greatest of these is love

There's a doctor in the house!

"Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

-Jesus (Mark 2:17)

I have to go way back in my memory to my earliest, carefree days on the farm to catch glimpses of a child who felt like all was right in the world. Too soon, at too tender of an age those illusions were crushed. Seeds of brokenness were sown which grew into beliefs about myself. Beliefs that left no doubts that I needed a doctor. Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners. There was never a doubt in my mind that I needed a Savior. I knew in my CORE that I wasn't good enough for a Holy God. Mark 2:17 gave me great hope. I knew I was a sinner. Jesus came to call ME!  

I used to envy people who have never struggled with the things I've struggled with. They have always known God as a loving Father, have always felt OK in His presence. But I don't envy them any longer. I know that she who has been forgiven much also loves much.

And I do LOVE Jesus! One time I was praying while leading worship and often as the Spirit leads I'm only half aware of what I'm saying. My husband later said, "that's how I want to be, that the story of Jesus' sacrifice will always bring me to tears" - then I remembered saying that during my prayer. It is true that very often when I reflect on who Jesus is and what He has done I am moved to tears. It is a gut level, physical response to His love and I simply can't help it.

I used to think I could never have the love of God because I was just too broken, damaged and not good enough. I knew in my head this wasn't correct, but I just couldn't shake the underlying belief. But Jesus didn't just come to CALL the sinners, He came to heal, redeem and RESTORE them!! :-) (Luke 4: 18-21, Isaiah 61)

I have a relative who restores old vehicles and machines. I see his pictures on facebook. The rusty, broken, worn out pieces are transformed into something useable and beautiful. I love these pictures. I can relate.

Jesus is into the restoration business. And He's called me to join Him in His work. 

until next time...

and the greatest of these is love

A Fight I Will Lose

I'd been uneasy all last week and then yesterday as I listened to scriptures and the message at church I realized what it is.

I'm resisting the Lord. I should have recognized it right away. I've been here many times before. In fact, I think wrestling is in my blood. Here it is.

There is a difference between being a 'follower' and being a 'disciple'. A follower can follow at a distance keeping Jesus at arms' length, but a disciple is so close to Jesus he/she gets covered in the dust He stirs up as He walks along.
A disciple studies the teacher, spends copious amounts of time with him and becomes like him. It is a transformational relationship.

We sang a song this week by Tim Hughes, Living For Your Glory with these lyrics:

What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul?
What good is it to make a sweet sound but remain proud?
In view of God's mercy, I offer my all

Take my life let it be everything, all of me
Here I am use me for your glory
In everything I say and do, let my life honor you
Here I am living for your glory

The road I'm on it leads nowhere without you
And the life I live it finds meaning, in surrender
In view of God's mercy, I offer my all

I can't get these words out of my head. I know in my gut the Lord has asked me to look deeper. To examine my motives and where my treasure lies. To examine whether I'm ready to accept His invitation to move from follower to disciple.

I am afraid. So I resist, I wrestle.... It is a fight I will lose.

And I am so grateful.... He thinks I'm worth the invitation to discipleship. Astounding.

until next time
...and the greatest of these is love

Only One Thing

Quiet, stillness. The boys were still asleep. My husband was downstairs drinking his early morning coffee and reading. I donned my robe and slippers, got my own cup of coffee and grabbed my Bible. I read what I opened up to: Proverbs 2:3-5 "Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God."

As a girl, I was greatly influenced by the story of Soloman and how God said he could ask for anything. But instead of asking for riches or long life, Soloman asked for wisdom. The Lord was pleased with his request. I remember thinking this was what I wanted to do and in my childlike way, I asked God to give me wisdom like Soloman.

For a long time I thought that wisdom was just a gift. A gift that was granted by God and didn't really involve my effort. While I still believe it is a gift I now know there is more to it. How do I grow in wisdom? Well, I think it is directly connected to what Mary discovered. "There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42. What had she discovered? She discovered the wonder of Jesus himself. Mary had been sitting at Jesus' feet listening to what he taught to the exclusion of everything else.

So I sit at the feet of Jesus and allow myself to see the very big and awe inspiring view of God, a vision of God that I tremble at and I grow in wisdom. And wisdom has many benefits. In Proverbs 2 there is quite an impressive list:
*a treasure of common sense to the honest
*a shield to those who walk with integrity
*you will understand what is right, just and fair
*you will find the right way to go
*fill you with joy
*wise choices will watch over you
*will save you from those whose words are twisted
*saves you from the immoral man/woman

It is really that simple. There is only one thing worth being concerned about. If I want wisdom and all the benefits that come along with wisdom, I need to emerse myself in my relationship with God to the exclusion of other less important things. Everything else will follow.

Why do I complicate it so much?

Until next time...
and the greatest of these is love!