Keeping It Real

My nose will never be the same. I will have a nose that looks like it came off one of the Seven Dwarfs. "Oh, my! What happened to your nose?!"
These and other unpleasant thoughts did NOT go through my mind last week. (believe it or not)
I think I had more fear going in than once I actually got "under the knife".
OK, if I've lost you, I'll back up and fill you in.
In March I visited my dermatologist. She noticed a few spots on my skin that needed to be tested. One of those spots came from my nose - left side on nostril. It came back as a basal cell carcinoma.
That meant a trip to DesMoines for a MOHS procedure where they test each layer they take until they get all the cancer.
I have been through this before in 2008 front neck just below the collar bone. It went well - one cut - one testing cycle - results came back with clear margins and I was stitched up. Simple.
This time didn't go that way.
By the time all the cancer was excavated I had a third nostril on the left side.
Three times they came back for more tissue, 4 times total. My husband was watching me closely. He was waiting for me to crack.
But I didn't.
I did have to hold back some tears after the initial results came back and I knew we weren't going to get the "one and done" like last time, but other than that, I held it together (well maybe it wasn't so much me as it was Jesus in me).
I had to see a plastic surgeon for repair.
We were impressed with the before and after pictures scrolling on digital frames in the waiting and exam rooms.
I hadn't seen the hole yet and Bruce snapped a picture with his phone and showed it to me. Mistake.
Now I couldn't hold back the tears.
The surgeon saw me trying to pull myself together and maybe this helped him be more compassionate, who knows.
After getting the low down, we were scheduled for surgery the following morning.
I came home with stitches in the shape of an N - but the boys thought it looked more like a 4 and dubbed me "NUMBER 4". So now I am number 4. Clever boys. (a reference to a recent movie)

You may be wondering what all this has to do with my walk with God. Everything.
My whole life is part of my walk with God.
The big stuff, the little stuff, the annoying stuff, the joys, the trials, all of it. He has something in it for me to learn.
I'm left wondering about things like the temporariness of my physical body. I'm reassured by knowing the real me is my eternal soul and that my body is just it's earthly house. I'm reminded that I'll get a new body someday.
I am reminded about thankfulness for this body I've been given. For the gift it is.
I am thankful for gifted physicians who have great skill, but also have compassion.

I know there are temptations that Satan would love for me to take up.
To become fearful. To become fatalistic in thinking about my skin and the future.
Yes, I spent way too many hours in the sun as a young person.
But I refuse to go there.
Jesus is my restorer, my healer. I pray for His touch to my skin. He healed lepers, He can heal me.
I will not live in fear.
Even if there is a recurrence in the future He will be with me and I'll learn something from it.

until next time -
and the greatest of these is love!