On Your Mark, Get Set.....Wait

"On your mark, get set . . . wait!" WAIT?! That just doesn't seem right does it? You've prepared well. You've spent the time training, you've gotten in shape to run this race and you have anticipated this day. Now you are finally at the starting line. You are ready, the gun is raised and you know it's going to go off any second. Only you don't know when. You are stuck in anticipation, ready to run, but the gun just isn't going off.

Ever feel like that? Ever feel like God prepared you and now you are ready only to find yourself waiting? I've decided that waiting is not a strong point for me. The only way I have been able to wait with some sort of sanity is through spending substantial time alone with God. For me that means in prayer with Bible open and journal ready. I also like to be at the keyboard and see what comes as I read scripture and play simple melodies or chord progressions. When I do these things I find peace and assurance and gain confidence that in His time all things will work together for my good and His glory.

However, when I don't do those things, I get anxious, fearful, angry and frustrated. Recently, I've been using the classic "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers for my devotions. I've been reading some of his insights on spiritual confusion and find them helpful for my current situation. He writes, "You cannot think through spiritual confusion to make things clear; to make things clear, you must obey. . . . Your reasoning capacity will come later, but reasoning is not how we see. We see by being like children, and when we try to be wise we see nothing."

I have to admit there are times when his writing goes right over my head. But this one about spiritual confusion I totally understand. I've just spent the last several months trying to think through what was happening, only to be more and more frustrated. But when I just sat back and listened to the still small voice and chose to obey it, then I found peace. Yes, even in the midst of confusion and waiting.

The tempting thing is to lash out and find someone or something to blame when in this place of confusion. I know this first hand as I struggle with that temptation myself and have seen it happen with people I've observed. Again, Mr. Chambers has some wisdom, "It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through the spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you."

And when that happens, the gun will go off and you will be running.

"On your mark, get set . . . GO!!"

until next time...

and the greatest of these is love

Gina