The Wisdom to Know it's Me

I said I would blog this week and I may have a few people checking up on me, so I better actually get it done! It has been a very busy couple of weeks to say the least.

I want to share something that lined up for me this week. I co-teach a "Powerful Tools for Caregivers" class and it's all about taking care of yourself so you can care for your loved one in a healthy way. Often caregivers put their health and well-being aside while they care for another and this can end up with them being run-down, burned out, ill or worse.

In a different group I facilitate, it is stressed that it is important that you learn how to love yourself in a healthy balanced way. Not a self-absorbed way, but in a Christ-honoring way. How often have you seen people, in their effort to "love others" lose their boundaries? They can go overboard to the detriment of themselves and/or their primary relationships.

Now I'm going to say something that may sound wrong: What I have learned is that other people aren't my responsibility. I am not responsible for other people. "But," you protest, "aren't I supposed to be my brother's/sister's keeper?"

Let's take a look at this a bit closer.... What is my role as a Christian concerning other people? I am to love them. I am to show them respect. I am to help, show mercy, forgive, guide, disciple, be hospitable, be patient, maybe discipline (if I'm in a position of authority - such as a parent). But nowhere in scripture am I RESPONSIBLE for anyone but me (with the possible exception of young children). You want to know why? Because only God is responsible for others. It is His work to transform, sanctify, change, bring conviction, etc. not mine. He is 100% responsible. It is my job to trust Him with all the people I come into contact with everyday. I am to be obedient to whatever He asks me to do concerning another and to leave it at that.

I know this may be a bit confusing and you may think it is just semantics, but I would disagree. There is a fundamental principle at work here. God is God and I am not. This idea is ultimately very freeing. I know God does a much better job than me concerning other people - especially those I love and "feel" the most responsibility for (such as my children). Maybe another way to say it is this: God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

One final thought. In the Bible it says to love others AS you love yourself. Not "more than" you love yourself; not "instead of" loving yourself; not "less than" you love yourself; but "AS" you love yourself. Balanced, healthy, Christ-centered. You and I are created in His image and for His glory.

until next time....

and the greatest of these is love

Gina