I recently was reminded of a process of forgiving I had forgotten about. I learned it a couple years ago, but hadn't needed to put it into practice in a real way, so it had fallen into that part of my brain where things go that aren't immediately needed and fade away. It is a 4-step process and one I'm not really looking forward to completing, but something I know I need to do.
Have you ever been in that place? You know that out of obedience, you are to forgive. God is VERY clear on this issue. But you want to hold on to your right to be angry, hurt, or resentful for just a while longer. After all, you feel entitled to it. The hurt/pain you've experienced was very real. But the price you and your loved ones will pay if you hold on too long is high.
I was listening to Beth Moore earlier this week and she was talking about forgiveness and Matthew 6:12-15
"and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
And don't let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Sandwiched between the verses about forgiveness is the part about temptation and being rescued or delivered from the evil one. She made the point that when we stay in a state of refusing to forgive, we place ourselves in a position where we are unable to resist temptation. Our "entitlement" attitude can lead us down a path of sin pretty quickly. (I can do ______ [fill in the blank] if I want to....) Bitterness always has an impact on those around us. Boy, could I relate to this!!
This morning the Lord brought me to 1 John 4: 7-20. This passage speaks about God's love, "This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins."
"But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us."
"We love each other, because he loved us first."
When it comes to forgiveness I think it takes the supernatural love of God IN US to be able to grant forgiveness. And God has experience in this department, he did it first hand through Jesus, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. This gives me hope and courage to step into something I feel completely incapable of doing on my own.
So what is this 4 step process?
Step 1: Hold up to the Lord all the things about the person/situation that trouble you. Identify all the ways in which you have been hurt. [pray it through, releasing it to the Lord]
Step 2: Hold up to the Lord all the things about you that trouble the other person/situation. Ways in which you have intentionally on unintentionally hurt the other. [pray it through, releasing it to the Lord]
Step 3: Hold up to the Lord your heart's desire for this person/situation. [pray it through, releasing it to the Lord]
Step 4: Hold up to the Lord your hearts' desire for yourself. [pray it through, releasing it to the Lord]
This is the simple version; there is a bit more to it, but you get the idea. I wish I were excited to jump right into this and get going. But alas, I am not. I already know what this will cause in me as I address it. I've been through it before. Frankly I just don't want to go there. I don't want to cry and be vulnerable and weak and I know this is part of this process. Admitting the ways I've been hurt or have hurt another is just NO FUN! My pride is pricked and I resist this with a fleeting "OK, I'll do it tomorrow" hoping for one more day of living in the gray of avoidance.
God is gentle and patient. He has come to my rescue so many times and I know He's not about to abandon me now. I'm thankful and grateful for the way He works in me, the way He speaks to me, the way He loves me.
Till next time...
and the greatest of these is love!
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