I'm not a rambler. I've never been called a "chatty cathy" to my knowledge. The older I get the more I prefer quiet. This was not true 5 years ago when I hated silence and had to have background noise at all times.
I like a cup of coffee and time to be still. Though that's a bit ironic as the coffee adversely affects my inner calm. I know I need to watch my caffeine intake, but one cup in the morning is like a warm hug to start my day. I usually wake up very slow. I have low blood pressure, so a little coffee in the morning helps.
I really enjoy the older years of my children. I've love the teen years with my oldest son, but he's been very easy on us so it's hard to tell. Babies are wonderful too, but the stage I feel was not my best was the toddler/pre-school years. You can't reason with that age. I much prefer parenting when they are able to understand. Not that they always agree, but at least they understand. I've changed for the better and gotten more patient as I've aged. Our poor oldest got my most impatient parenting. I've told him I'll pay for his counseling someday. I also believe that parents should apologize to their kids when they screw up. I've done my share of that too.
There is good in most everything and everyone. There is also evil. I marvel at a few people I know who are always able to see the good, it's as natural as breathing for them. I want to be like that. Not in a naive kind of way, but in a way that is able to see both, but choose to dwell in and call out the good.
I believe in seasons. Unlike the set pattern of seasons in nature our spiritual seasons can last years or be as short as a few months. It is in the stormy seasons that we grow the most. I heard a quote from a movie that rings true - it is in the ruin that transformation occurs. I've lived this and it is true.
People have a strong need to know. I have seen and experienced that it is very difficult to live in a place of "unknown." People can be ugly when they feel they don't know what they think they should know. It is a true test of character to remain stable in a place of unknown. I don't like to be in that place, but I've been there. I'm not there now. I prefer NOT be in that place, but while in that place I was able to find peace. It was a great insight and gift to realize I could find peace while in a place of unknown. I'm not special, anyone can, it comes from time with God.
God is not synonymous with religion. While religion has a function, God cannot be contained within it. Churches are flawed because they are filled with people. Neither the failings of religion or churches should keep one from pursuing God. God is bigger than any institution. And while we are hurt by people within these institutions, we need to continue to develop relationships with other God-followers/seekers/disciples and this usually happens through those flawed institutions. However, I have learned that my relationships with other God followers is not dependent on being in the same church. It is dependent on my willingness to invest in that relationship.
I have vital, nourishing relationships with several different people. I used to think I should have one best friend. I think this idea started in elementary school. It is a flawed idea. No one person can meet your relationship needs. I need several different friends with different slants on life and different perspectives that I trust. I have that. I am blessed.
Of the Trinity (God the Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit) I am the most unsettled with Jesus. I know, strange. He's the human after all - the one most like me. There have been some helpful things such as reading the fiction book "Shack" and seeing the portrayal of Jesus in the visual Bible - book of Matthew, you can really feel the love He has for people. I think what I really struggle with is the challenge I see of living a life totally surrendered to the will of the Father. Jesus did it. He says I can do it too and that He supplies whatever is needed in order for that to occur. Surrender is an ongoing thing. It would be so much simpler if I could surrender 1x and be done with it.
Well, that's enough random thoughts for one blog.
until next time
....and the greatest of these is love
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